it should never hurt like this.
pealing off every layer of insincerity,
until all thats left is the small bit of who i use to be.
my parents love,
my god's cruel hand,
a bastard told me how to preach.
but i ran for the hills.
turned my back on belief.
reaching out in the dark to find her,
my first kiss.
it meant everything,
now it's a small piece of a broken mirror.
i'll never see myself the same again.

you tried to shed your skin,
when you saw yourself in him.
a bottle and a bout of sin
you'll never be the same again

you screwed your head on straight,
he said it looked better that way,
and now you'll wait and wait
for him to do the same

on a full moon
and an empty stomach
i scream out to you
dreaming of something new
the melting time
the dripping wax
countless hours
you'll never take back
sounds unripe
for salty ears
my howling heart
dying for the wild
caged inside letters and words
i want the alphabet of an untamed child

this is the kind of night where you wake up and don't go back to sleep.
dreaming constantly of the vastness of reality.
this would make a dead man kill for a sleeping pill.
i die every day to live in my dreams.
pushing the cogs and gears of this slow moving life.
a time bomb waiting to explode.
dripping and pulsing.
breathing and moaning.
i know i could touch it if only i would reach for it.
i’d fuck the whole world if only i had the time.

i don't really care if anyone knows what i think.
to be honest, there's not much floating around in my brain anymore. i'm not pretending to know all the secrets of life. there isn't any. people are just trying to be happy, but it's their happiness that they care about.